just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I believe in your delicious
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
