Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
