no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
