and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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