well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
