I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We left an ass print on the piano.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
