I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
