I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
handjob tips. give me some.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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