Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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