I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
