Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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