no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
well you can't waste a boner
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sorry about my life...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
