Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
