wrigley field is MILF paradise
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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