C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
