Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
