yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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