Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
