Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
