Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
