nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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