got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Sorry my hands just texted you
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
