I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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