There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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