I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
