come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
