Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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