im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
