I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize