Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
