Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
So squirting runs in the family.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
