How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
