who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
