You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize