I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
