How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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