Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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