Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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