Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
