My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
