the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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