Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
