He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
