Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
