Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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