well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
