I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
