is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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