is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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