he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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