I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
