Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
