you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
