both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize