shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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