walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
