She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
