dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
