is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
