you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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