it hurts more in the daytime
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
