she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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